The Review: Tenchu Z

Its already been established that ninjas are cool, but you can take just about anything cool and make it lame. Put George Clooney in a school boy outfit and give him a giant lollipop, not cool. Put Jennifer Garner in a sumo suit and roller skates, not cool. Put The Fonz in a pair of Daisy Dukes and have him water ski, not cool. What can make ninjas uncool? Taking the fun out of the one thing they do best - killing people! Welcome to the world of “Tenchu Z”, a game that should be about kicking ass but feels more like a kick in the coin purse.
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The game starts out promising enough. You get to choose the gender of your character, make some physical appearance and outfit choices, then take a quick training tutorial. Once you have the basics down, gamers will begin a long and inconsequential story mode. I have no idea what the plot of “Tenchu Z” is and it really doesn’t matter. The storyline is hard to follow because I’m forced to READ it since all of the voiceovers are done in Japanese. While I appreciate the attempt at authenticity, I’d prefer to know what’s going on instead of having to read miniature, italicized font. Its just too much work. But with mission titles like “Punish the Greedy Merchant” and “Kill the Shameful Monk”, you pretty much get the point. All you have to do is search around for the guy who needs assassinating and do you job, mission over. Sounds simple and that’s the problem, it is.
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The AI in “Tenchu Z” has a Forrest Gump level IQ, taking any challenge out of the game. The bad guys are terrible swordsmen who will flail around and miss badly. They all have short term memory issues because once they spot you, all you have to do is run and hide for a minute and they’ve forgotten you were ever there. They also get over seeing the bodies of their dead comrades with OJ-like quickness. Oh well, just another day at the office. Worst of all (or funniest), they have the eyesight of Mr. Magoo and can’t see more than 10 feet away. These guys are sitting ducks.
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Not that your virtual Ninja uses any of this to his or her advantage. While the stealth kill animations look pretty sweet, the weak combat controls take away most of the fun. When you get into a straight up fight there’s no targeting system, so you swing your sword like a blindfolded kid aiming at a piñata. And while you’re given access to a bunch of interesting weapons (bow and arrow, throwing stars, blow guns, mines, smoke bombs) you never need anything but your sword. Its simplistic hack and slash gaming. Yawn!
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Its not that “Tenchu Z” doesn’t have any potential. The settings look cool and authentic. Gamers can buy new skills, items and clothes as they progress through the game. The online game play can be enjoyable and did I mention that the stealth kills look awesome? But when the coolest thing about being a Ninja (killing people, remember?) is so boring, what’s the point?
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If you really need your Ninja fix or are looking to score some easy Achievement Points, renting this game will should be enough for you. But unless you’re a hardcore Ninja freak who has his own sword, all black outfit with Ninja shoes, “fights” with his buddies in the park and works at the Renaissance Festival on weekends, you really don’t need to own this game.
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Tenchu Z
Cost: $59.99
Players: One (4 Online)
Formats: Xbox 360
Category: Stealth Fighter
Rating: Mature (17+)
You take the good: Stealth kills look cool, Chance to act out Ninja fantasy
You take the bad: Crummy combat controls, Brain dead AI, No in-game save points
And then you have – The Grade: C-
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coloradojoemail@yahoo.com

Thirst Quenching?

I know what you're thinking - two posts two days in a row? Sure its unusual but after remembering all of the games that are coming out this week, I started to get excited. This is the beginnning of the end of the long gaming drought, maybe. Here's what's available this week.

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Transformers: The Game (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii) - I've been a Transformers fan since I was a kid so I'm stoked about the movie and the game. Traditionally games based on movies have sucked (except for first 2 Spider-Man games) but I can dream can't I?

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (PC, Wii, Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP, DS) - Yeah, yeah I know, another movie based game and previous versions of this haven't really been anything to talk about. I just mentioned this game for my brother and son who are big Potter geeks.

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The BIGS (Xbox 360, PS3) - Real baseball is about as fun to watch as a 24 hour marathon of "The Simple Life" (except for the Red Sox), video game baseball sims can be even worse. Despite this I still get a baseball itch that I need to scratch. Thankfully 2K has released "The BIGS", an over-the-top, fast paced, arcade baseball game. Hopefully it won't end up being like "MLB Slugfest".

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The Darkness (Xbox 360, PS3) - Now we're cooking with gas! This is a comic book based game about a mafia hitman who has demons that come out of his body to do his bidding. I've seen short clips and screenshots of this game and it looks sweet.

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Even if you're not interested in any of these games, we're just a few weeks away from "NCAA 08" and only 2 months away from "Madden 08", "All-Pro Football 2K8" and "Mass Effect" (this game will be HUGE). As a big football nut, I always get sucked into the NCAA and Madden gaming hype despite the fact that last year both of them were huge disappointments. This year I won't let my football Jones sway me, maybe. I'm hoping some hands on time with both games at E3 will calm my nerves. Let me know what games you're looking forward to.

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coloradojoemail@yahoo.com

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UPDATE: Go here (http://videogames.yahoo.com/xbox360/grand-theft-auto-iv/preview-520459) or here (http://www.rockstargames.com/IV/trailer_splash.html) to check out the new GTA IV trailer. I don't know how much of it are cut scenes or how much of it is actual game play and I could care less. It looks frickin' sweet.

Ninjas Are Cool

With all due respect to Heidi Klum's personal masseuse, professional baseball players and Kathy Lee Gifford sweatshop workers, the coolest job in the world is being a Ninja. That's right, Ninja with a capital N. Why am I so into Ninjas? Its probably my admiration of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the old 80's TV show "The Master" starring Lee Van Cleef and Tim Van Patten, Ask A Ninja on youtube or the fact that I've been playing a lot of "Tenchu Z" for this week's review. Or maybe its the stealthy way they get around or all of their cool gadgets. Ninjas are the new pirates, so in order to be an informed consumer when the Ninja movie, throwing star toys, lunch boxes and underwear come out, here are some things you should know about the worlds coolest people.

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Top 5 Things You Didn't Know About Ninjas And Will Be A Better Person Once You Know Them

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1. Ninja as cheerleader - Don't believe me? Check out the synopsis of the movie "Cheerleader Ninjas", released in 1998.

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"A group of matronly church going women mistakenly blame a group of local high school cheerleaders for the proliferation of pornography on the Internet. Throughout their attempt to defend themselves, the pom-pom-pushing Happy Valley High Hamsters learn of the nefarious plot of one Mr. X to use them as his sexy test group for his new Internet Zombie Domination software."

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Now that's my kind of movie.

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2. Ninja as gamer - A group from Sweden that goes by the name "Ninjas in Pyjamas" (crazy Swedes and their goofy spelling) formed a clan in 2001 that plays competitive matches of "Counter Strike". They're considered one of the best teams in the world...by other nerdy Swedes.

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3. Ninja as Mel Blanc - Greg Eagles provided the voice work for Gray Fox, the cyborg Ninja from "Metal Gear Solid". But wait, there's more. Eagles has done a number of other voice over jobs as well. Besides providing the voice for Gray Fox, he also did the voice of DARPA Chief Donald Anderson. He did the voice of Luke Cage in "Marvel Ultimate Alliance" and Corporal Dell Morris in "Quake 4". Eagles also does cartoon voices.

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4. Ninja as buffoon - Some quotes from the greatest Ninja movie ever, "Beverly Hills Ninja" starring Chris Farley.

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- Haru: Hey, you hear the one about the lady who backed into a fan? It was a disaster. "Dis-assed" her.

- Haru: [Joey is chasing a chicken] Keep practicing, Joey, and someday you will choke that chicken.

- Sensei: Twenty five years ago, an ancient legend of this sacred art came alive. It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us and become a Ninja master unlike any other. How he arrived on our shores will forever remain a mystery. We Ninjas thought that this child would be the great white Ninja of the legend. We were wrong. We were very wrong.

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Okay, so maybe Ninjas should stick to falling through tables and avoid making movies.

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5. Ninja as deliver boy - The restaurant chain Ninja Burger is a group of Ninjas who secretly deliver fast food meals anytime, anywhere, within 30 minutes or less. If a Ninja fails to deliver on time they are required to commit Seppuku, also known as hara-kiri. The competition with Pirate Pizza, Otaku Bell and Samurai Burger is fierce. So maybe Ninja Burger is a parody website, but their dedication to the art of food delivery is impressive. If you're looking for a job, head over to http://www.ninjaburger.com/. Make sure you have your own Ninja sword and uniform.

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coloradojoemail@yahoo.com

Old Reliable

Let's face it, when it comes to games, the last few months have been slow. I'm talkin' Paris-Hilton-learning-lessons-the-hard-way slow. Aside from the "Halo 3" beta, which wasn't even a real game, the last few months have positively sucked. And don't give me a bunch of crap about "Shadowrun" either. If you think that's a good game, its only because your choices lately have been garbage, crap and slightly better crap.

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So what are you to do during a dry spell? What every other smart gamer does, go back to your "old reliables". These are the games you go to when you don't know what to play, if there's nothing new you want to buy, or you've gotten so tired of a game you can't even stand to look at it anymore and you're dying to trade it in. These games are always there to give you some fun, no matter how old they are or how many times you've played them. For some, its "Halo 2" (my brother Phil), for others (my buddy Eli) its "City of Heroes". Here are the games that keep me going when I have nothing else to play, share yours if you like.

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GTA: San Andreas (Xbox) - I play at least 1 new game a week and sometimes I need to get the mediocre taste out of my mouth. San Andreas is my gaming mouthwash. Running people over without consequences, flying a Harrier and shooting rockets at passing cars, basejumping, gambling - this game has it all. A great way to relieve stress is running around a huge world where you can do whatever you want.

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GTA: Vice City (Xbox) - What?!? Two GTA games, doesn't that get boring? Um..no, I play this one for a different reason. This is the funniest game I've ever played. The radio DJ's are hilarious, the dialogue is classic 80's cheesy ("Its time to do the Lance Vance dance!) and the sound track is a thing of beauty.

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Midway Arcade Treasures 2 (PS2) - This is a recent addition and the only reason I have to turn on my PS3 right now. It has a nice compilation of classic Midway games but the one I bought it for was "Cyberball 2072", which as everyone knows, is the GREATEST-ROBOTS-PLAYING-FOOTBALL-GAME-OF-ALL-TIME! It brings back a lot of memories and its still fun to play. If only it were on Xbox Live Arcade, then I could get rid of it.

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coloradojoemail@yahoo.com

The Review: Forza Motorsport 2

My palms are sweating and I’m on the edge of my seat. Its the last lap of a race in Laguna Seca and the driver behind me is all over me like a wet t-shirt. One mistake and he’ll pass me for sure. Hold him off, and fortune and glory is all mine. Welcome to “Forza Motorsport 2,” an engrossing, deep and beautiful racing sim.

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Building a great racing video game is a tough task. They can come off as too cartoony (“Mickey’s Speedway USA”), silly (“Crazy Taxi”), stupid (“Pimp My Ride”) or just plain head scratching (“Star Wars: Super Bombad Racing?” Who thought this was a good idea?). With “Forza 2” Microsoft seems to be trying to compete with Sony’s “Gran Turismo” series, well known for its almost anal retentive attention detail but the game actually comes across as something better – a blend of “Gran Turismo’s” gift for customization and “Project Gotham Racing 3’s” easy pick and up and play driving controls. Put those two things together with “Forza 2’s” beautiful graphics and what do you get? A racing sim that everyone from hardcore gamers to noobs can enjoy.

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There is so much to do in “Forza 2” (hey, that rhyms!) that its almost hard to figure out where to start. There’s a very deep exhibition mode where you can get familiar with the different tracks, race a variety of the different car types in either simulated races and time trials or just drive a lazy free run. The games multi-player component offers exactly what you’d expect from a Microsoft game, a great sense of community. There are online tournaments, races, Forza TV where you can watch a race, you can gift a car and send it to a friend and best of all there’s an auction house. Here you can buy and sell cars just like on ebay. Cool!

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The heart of “Forza 2” is the career mode. You’ll start off by choosing a region, buying a lowgrade car and getting your race on. When you’re not racing and raising your driver level, you’ll be buying new cars and customizing them to an almost hilarious degree. Sure there are plenty of parts upgrades but most gamers will most likely become enamored with is the visual customization. There are tons of colors, logos, designs you can add to your vehicle to make it look like just about anything you want. Ever wanted to race with the General Lee or a car with Pringles logos all over it? Now’s your chance, it’s a blast to play with.

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The game presentation is first rate. The cars look stunning, the tracks are beautiful and the audio is solid but where “Forza 2” truly shines is in the attention it pays to the little things. The crowd cheers as you zoom past the grandstands and they each move individually. The cars take minor damage, as bumpers fall off and windows break, adding to the sense of realism. Shadows from light poles and buildings reflect off of cars and dust spews when you veer off the road. The lighting is spectacular as the light reflects differently off the road depending on the position of the sun. Cones, when knocked out of place, will stay where they were hit for the entire race. They don’t respawn back to their original location.

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Of course none of this would matter if the racing stunk, thankfully its as tough as you want it to be. The AI is completely adjustable to fit however good of a racer you are, but no matter what level you’re at, you’ll be challenged. The driving controls are laid out on the controller quite well so even if you don’t drop $130 on a racing wheel, you won’t feel like your missing out on anything.

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So this game must be perfect, right? A wider mix of race tracks, some weather elements and a not so lame soundtrack would be nice but I’m being nitpicky. With over 300 licensed vehicles (and I’m sure more is to come through Xbox Live Marketplace) and enough drive time hours to keep Danica Patrick happy, you will never be bored with this title. If you like racing games, even a little bit, you need to take “Forza 2” for a spin.
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Forza 2 Motorsport
Cost: $59.99
Players: 1-2 (8 Online)
Formats: Xbox 360
Category: Racing Sim
Rating: E (Everyone)
You take the good: Beautiful graphics, excellent racing controls, challenging AI, deep career mode, crazy amounts of customization, tons of licensed cars
You take the bad: Umm…its not free?
And then you have – The Grade: A

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coloradojoemail@yahoo.com

The Mole: Smell ya later

Mac Daddy - Apple and EA recently announced that games will be coming onto the Mac platform starting in July with the release of "Battlefield 2142", "Command and Conquer 3", "Need for Speed Carbon", "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". "Tiger Woods 08" and "Madden 08" will come out in the fall. id Software has developed a new gaming engine that supports OS X, PC, Xbox 360 and PS3. The new engine, called id Tech 5, will be on display at E3.

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Sony reaches out - Finally starting to get with the program, Sony recently released its Playstation blog. Available at http://blog.us.playstation.com/ it offers news and updates. Like most things Sony does, its a bit cold and and not quite as community friendly as the Xbox site but if you're a PS3 gamer, its worth a look.

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Grand Theft Auto trailer - For those of us diehard fans who salivated over the first GTA IV trailer and wanted more, there's good news. A new trailer titled "Looking for the Someone Special" will be available for download on the Rockstar website June 28th.

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Did someone say Achievement Points? - Here are the 49 ways to boost your gamerscore in Halo 3.

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1. Landfall - Finish the first mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 20 points

2. Holdout - Finish the second mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 20 points
3. The Road - Finish the third mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 20 points
4. Assault - Finish the fourth mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 30 points
5. Cleansing - Finish the fifth mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 30 points
6. Refuge - Finish the sixth mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 30 points

7. Last Stand - Finish the seventh mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 40 points
8. The Key - Finish the eighth mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 40 points
9. Return - Finish the final mission of the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary. 50 points
10. Campaign Complete: Normal - Finish the Campaign on Normal. 125 points
11. Campaign Complete: Heroic - Finish the Campaign on Heroic (unlocks achievement for Normal, if not earned). 125 points
12. Campaign Complete: Legendary - Finish the Campaign on Legendary (unlocks achievements for Normal and Heroic, if not earned). 125 points
13. Iron - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
14. Black Eye - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
15. Tough Luck - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
16. Catch - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
17. Fog - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
18. Famine - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
19. Thunderstorm - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
20. Tilt - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
21. Mythic - Finish the Campaign on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary, then find and claim this skull. 10 points
22. Spartan Program Recruit - Win your first game in matchmaking to sign up for the Spartan Program (Online). 10 points
23. UNSC Spartan - Earn your Sergeant rating to be recognized as a true Spartan (Online). 15 points
24. Spartan Officer - Advance to the Spartan Officer ranks (Online). 25 points
25. Two for One - Score a Double Kill with a single spartan laser shot in a ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
26. Too Close to the Sun - Destroy an enemy banshee with the spartan laser or missile pod in a ranked playlist or in campaign. 5 points
27. Triple Kill - Kill 3 enemies within 4 seconds of one another in a ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
28. Overkill - Kill 4 enemies within 4 seconds of one another in a ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
29. Lee R Wilson Memorial - Score 5 grenade sticks in any ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
30. We’re in for some Chop - Destroy an enemy vehicle with equipment in a ranked playlist or in campaign. 5 points
31. Killing Frenzy - Kill 10 enemies without dying in any ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
32. Steppin' Razor - Score a Triple Kill with the sword in a ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
33. Mongoose Mowdown - Splatter an enemy with the mongoose in a ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
34. Up Close and Personal - Kill 5 enemies by melee or assassination in a ranked free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
35. Fear the Pink Mist - Kill 5 enemies with the needler in a ranked free for all playlist or in campaign. 5 points
36. Headshot Honcho - Kill 10 enemies with headshots in a ranked free for all playlist or in campaign. 5 points
37. Used Car Salesman - Destroy a vehicle that has three enemies in it in a ranked playlist or in campaign. 5 points
38. Marathon Man - Locate and access all Terminals in the Campaign. 40 points
39. MVP - Earn the MVP in any ranked playlist (Online). 5 points
40. Maybe Next Time Buddy - Board the same vehicle within 10 seconds after being boarded in any free for all playlist (Online). 5 points
41. Demon - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the second mission. 10 points
42. Guerilla - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the first mission. 10 points
43. Cavalier - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the third mission. 10 points
44. Askar - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the fourth mission. 10 points
45. Exterminator -Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the fifth mission. 10 points
46. Ranger - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the sixth mission. 10 points
47. Vanguard - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the seventh mission. 10 points
48. Orpheus - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on eighth mission. 10 points
49. Reclaimer - Score over points in the Campaign meta-game on the final mission. 10 points
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Smell ya later? - So what the heck does the title of this post have to do with anything? Well, I don't know how to sugarcoat it so here it is - I recently resigned as the Gazette's video game columnist. To be honest its been a long time coming. No disrespect to the paper or any of the friends I still have there but I just didn't feel like it was taking my writing career where I wanted it to go. I left on my own (and good) terms so the decision to leave was completely mine and I'm happy with it.

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Now I'm a freelancer with increased writing opportunities. The Gazette doesn't allow you to write for anyone else, but now that I'm "single" I can persue other outlets I couldn't before. I'll still be doing this blog, the podcast, going out to E3 and giving you the latest gaming news and reviews. I'm also looking to do some freelance work for the Independent and my name is in the mix at a couple of national gaming sites/mags so I have some jobs in the works. I'm bummed that I'm no longer affiliated with a reputable paper but if I want to play with the big boys, some risks have to be taken. Wish me luck as I take the next step in my career and don't go anywhere. If you've enjoyed what you've read over the last 2 years, it should only get better now that I'm not as restricted when it comes to content or style. I'm not turning into a different writer, just being a little less conservative. Stick around.

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coloradojoemail@yahoo.com

Happy Father's Day

Greetings from the hottest place on Earth - Its a little late, but Happy Father's Day to all of those dads out there, both gamers and non-gamers. My dad is the one who got me hooked on gaming, although I'm sure it was completely unintentional. He's the guy who somehow came up with an Atari 2600 for our family when it was THE hot ticket Christmas item, and we lived in Germany at the time. How he pulled it off I'll never know but he always came through in the clutch around Christmas and birthday time. He also bought me a watch that had Space Invaders on it and played the song "La Cucaracha". Why it could do both of those things, I had no clue. Who knew that early intro to would lead to a lifelong love of gaming? Thanks dad, for everything.

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In case you were wondering why I haven't put up any posts since Wednesday's review, I've been out of town. The wife and I left Wednesday afternoon and just got back today from a canoeing trip/astronomy class outside of Grand Junction aka, Phoenix North. It was a fun trip but I'm not going into details here. Let me just say it involved nudity (not my own), endless Uranus jokes, and a device called The Groover. If you're interested, listen to this weeks podcast as I'm going to be bringing it up in this weeks episode. Look for a Mole report on Tuesday and hopefully a belated "Forza 2" review on Thursday.

The Review: Call of Juarez

Will you answer? - Over the last few weeks the movie “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” (starring Lucas Black and kid rapper Bow Wow) has been on HBO about 379 times. At first, I didn’t pay attention to it knowing that it’s a part of the underwhelming “Fast and Furious” trilogy. But after catching parts of it here and there I started watching it, sometimes even TiVoing it, and suddenly it’s a decent movie. Or maybe I’m just bored.
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The new shoot’em up western “Call of Juarez” is a lot like “Tokyo Drift.” It starts off disappointing; just another lame summer release to kill some time with while waiting for “Madden” and “Mass Effect.” But after working through it and getting used to it, a decent game is unveiled. Or maybe I’m just bored.
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In “Call of Juarez” gamers take turns playing as Billy Candle, a screw up trying to clear his name, and Reverend Ray, Billy’s preacher uncle and a one time gunfighter ala Clint Eastwood in “Pale Rider”. Each character has their own unique skills and abilities. Ray is stronger and can kick and carry heavy objects. He wears armor, usually packs two six-shooters and has a bullet time-like feature called Concentration Mode. He can also blast bad guys with a gun in one hand while quoting scripture from a Bible in the other. Cool!
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Then there’s the other guy. Billy can hide in bushes so he can’t be seen and can climb onto rocks and crates. He also uses a bow and arrow. Wow! Its like summer camp! Billy has no armor, which means he can’t take much punishment and has the effect of killing him if he falls five feet. In other words, he’s a wimp. Billyboy does have a whip that he uses to smack wolves and swing from branches onto ledges. This sounds like a cool Indian Jones-type feature but unless you nail your landing like an Olympic gymnast, prepare to fall to your death again and again. Not cool, and the games glaring flaw.
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The uneven characters create off-kilter game play. For Ray life consists of running around the attractive looking environments, shooting the hats off bad guys and then finishing them off with a verse from the Book of Revelations. At the end of each level, there’s a quick draw duel with a boss. The Ray levels are fast paced and full of action. Since Billy isn’t as strong or as well armed, gamers spend most of their time skulking around, doing odd jobs like sneaking into his girlfriend’s house undetected or “permanently borrowing” some poor guys horse and not getting caught. There are the occasional fights and horseback rides (camp again!) but poor Billy just isn’t suited for it. While I appreciate a change of pace as much as the next gamer, the difference between the two characters is too great and slows the action, and fun, to a halt.
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Despite the Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Boring game play, “Juarez” has a lot of other things to offer. The graphics are solid, the audio has nice sound effects and cheesy dialogue, there’s a lot to do when the single player is over (an enjoyable multi-player mode, a number of gun duels and extra non-story related missions) and the game has a unique game play setting – the old west.
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“Call of Juarez” doesn’t reinvent the genre of the western first person shooter but it is a fun, goofy game with plenty to keep you busy. Better yet, its a good way to spend some time while waiting for the big guns this fall.
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Call of Juarez
Cost: $49.99 - $59.99
Players: One (16 Online)
Formats: Xbox 360, PC
Category: First Person Shooter (FPS)
Rating: Mature (17+)
You take the good: Plenty to do, fun genre, Reverend Ray
You take the bad: Uneven game play, poor whip targeting system, Billy
And then you have – The Grade: B-

The Mole: John Elway Returns

The Duke of Denver - Johnny boy is back, this time on the cover of "All-Pro Football 2K8" joined by Barry Sanders and "Dancing with the Stars" and 49ers Hall of Famer Jerry Rice. I've seen some screenshots of this game and I certainly am intrigued. Will it fly without the NFL license? Only time will tell, but seeing a 30ish looking John Elway in a video game is something I'll have to check out. While we wait for its release, here is a partial list of some of the licensed tracks in the game.

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1. "All-Pro Intro"
2. "Something Different" featuring Chali 2Na & Keno 1
3. "Sudden Death" featuring DJ Faust
4. "Let the Rhythm Hit ‘Em 2007" featuring Rakim & Chevelle
5. "Doin' It Like This" featuring Clutch
6. "Automatic At It" featuring Aceyalone
7. "Go Hard" featuring Gift of Gab & Dub Trio
8. "On My Side" featuring Lateef & Slug
9. "I Don’t Need This Trouble" featuring Natural Self
10. "Sure Shot" featuring Casual & Pep Love
11. "Rock, Shock, Break" featuring Backyard Bangers
12. "Locked and Loaded" featuring Deftones & Dead Prez
13. "Tom Sawyer (Z-Trip Remix)" – Rush

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Dance card filling up - E3 is getting ever closer and I'm starting to feel more and more like a speed dater. I've been hit on by Microsoft, Sony, Majesco, Midway, Bethesda, Eidos and Codemasters and like a shameless hussy said yes to all of them. While this certainly will make me busy (when will I fit in a trip to Universal Studios?) I'm excited to see the new releases and pass on everything I find on this blog. Look for news and updates every day during E3 next month.

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And finally - Ubisoft announced late last week that "Assassin's Creed" - to be released on the 360, Ps3 and PC - will be released this November...if you're interested in contributing to the coloradojoe podcast mailbag drop me an email at coloradojoemail@yahoo.com... normally I don't cover TV here but I feel obligated after watching the finale of "The Sopranos" last night. I know there's been some negative things written about it but I thought it was very good. It was very suspenseful the whole way through, we got to say good-bye to every character by seeing everyone one last time, the Phil Leotardo death was one of the most memorable ever and the during the last 5 minutes I was literally staring at the screen without blinking. The show didn't really end with the payoff everyone was hoping for, but for me, I didn't want to see Tony die or in jail because I like him (despite what a dispicable person he is). The way it ended was fitting, letting the audience imagine what happened and of course leaving the door open for a Sopranos movie. The only thing thing that disappointed me is AJ not getting clipped (not being able to get his seatbelf off when his car caught on fire would have been fine with me) because he's one of the most annoying characters in TV history.

Control This

While listening to a recent Major Nelson podcast, the subject of the top 5 best console controllers in the history of gaming came up (sure I said I was going to write a review of gametap, but after hearing this list, I couldn't hold my tongue). I'm not sure where Major got the list but after getting home and looking it up online, I found the exact same list on the CNET/UK forum. Here were the top 5 all time console controllers, according to some bloke, in no particular order.

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SNES

Atari 2600

N64

PS2 Dualshock

Xbox 360

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Personally I love top 5 lists, they're a great conversation starter and this one is no exception. Lets take a look at these one at a time.

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SNES - Not a bad choice. I played so many Madden and NHL games on this system in college that I could probably still pick it up and play it like a pro. Fits well in the hand, simple button layout and everything was easy to reach. But if I was going to choose the best Nintendo controller, I'd take the original NES controller because it was so groundbreaking. It perfected the use of the D-pad, and had a simple, yet brilliantly effective control scheme. I loved playing Super Mario with this controller.

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Atari 2600 - Great choice and certainly in my top 5. Sure it was stiff as a board, caused wicked blisters and could occasionally snap like a twig if a kid was overly aggressive with it (not that I would ever do that), but its a classic because it was a smooth transition from the arcade into the home. One button, one stick? Brilliant.

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N64 - What the heck is this guy smoking?!? The N64 controller was one of the ugliest, most poorly designed controllers ever created! Just look at that picture up top. No, seriously. First of all, it was waaay to big, especially for kids. The yellow directional buttons were too small, the A and B button were too close to the yellow buttons, the stick was poorly placed and it looked like a boomerang. Its a piece of junk and just looking at it makes my eyes cross. My choice to takes its place? The Dreamcast controller. It was a little clunky but I loved the VMU, very innovative. Why hasn't anybody else done something like that?

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PS2 Dualshock - I absolutely love this controller and I have no idea why Sony made some of the changes it did with the PS3 controller (no rumble, slick as snot trigger buttons) that just didn't work. The PS2 controller is almost perfect. Two analog sticks with a nice tactile grip, rumble in each hand, a solid D-pad, and the perfect triangle, square, circle, X placement. Sure it was missing a trigger and wasn't wireless but it was still terrific. My second favorite controller.

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Xbox 360 - Now we're cooking with gas. When I first bought my 360 and opened up the package, one of the first things that caught my eye was the controller, a significant improvement on the two previous Xbox controllers. The 360 model has almost perfect weight and size, a surprisingly effective off-center analog stick placement, the traditional D-pad and four button layout, two solid triggers, a headset jack, a guide button to access other functions and best of all, its wireless. The only thing missing? A motion sensor ala the Wiimote. But I wouldn't be surprised to see it in future 360 controller iterations.

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I know what you're thinking. Why isn't the Wiimote in your top 5? Its certainly not lacking innovation or creativity (rumble, motion and a speaker?!?) and will definitely be remembered long after the Wii has been retired. But because its only been out for less than a year its too hard to tell where it'll rank in the long run. That and on some games (Red Steel, Need for Speed, Far Cry, Marvel: Ultimate Alliance) it gets in its own way. Only time will tell if its top 5 material.

The Review: Shadowrun

After working my way through the long “Shadowrun” tutorial, I could hardly contain my excitement. I had just finished learning how to use some new weapons and gadgets, had an informed decision on which race I thought best fit my gaming style and learned how to manipulate the coolest magic tricks this side of Las Vegas. I was pumped! Then I jumped into a multi-player match and proceeded to get hit harder than Bobby Bacala in a Hobby Lobby, it was not pretty. Where had the differences between the races gone? How come this gadget I thought was cool turned out to be lame? How come there only seems to be one game type? Why is there no single-player to hone my skills? When a video game leaves you with more questions than fun, it’s a bad sign.
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Welcome to “Shadowrun” a game loosely based on a pen and paper RPG from the late 80’s and the first title ever that allows Xbox 360 and PC gamers with Windows Vista to play against/with each other. In the game there are two rival factions, the RNA (a large corporation) and the Lineage (a rebel group), fighting for the control of magic – that’s right, magic. The big bad corporation wants to control magic (How? I have no idea) and the underdog Lineage wants everyone to have access to it. David Blaine couldn’t be prouder!
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Game play consists of two teams of eight playing each other in one of three games. Capture the Flag, Defend the Flag, or Attrition (wipeout the other team). Since you can win any of the flag games by wiping out the other team, there really isn’t any variety. There are also a limited number of maps so after a few rounds the game starts to feel old. Unlike “Halo” where you play a game and then move to another match, the online games in “Shadowrun” are played in rounds, with the first team that gets to 7 wins being declared the wiener. In between rounds players can buy new weapons, tech or magic powers. This is the time to specialize your abilities and weapons, which is certainly a unique feature among online games.
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But before you can even begin to start choosing sides on the ever important magic debate, you need to go through the tease that is the “Shadowrun” tutorial. Here you will learn about the different races (troll, dwarf, elf and human) and their strengths and weaknesses. You will also learn how to operate the different weapons (katana, minigun, sniper rifle, rocket launcher, rail gun, grenades) and some interesting tech toys (glider, enhanced vision, antimagic generator, super reflexes). In theory this sounds great, but in practice needs some fine tuning. Once online, the difference between the races is minimal but most gamers have already figured out the one race that has a slight advantage (elves because they’re fast healers and slightly quicker) and play as them. The weapons are standard shoot’em up fare and the tech weapons, with the exception of the Batman-like glider, aren’t very useful. Limited game play types, nondescript weapons and gadgets on a multi-player only game? Feel the excitement!
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The one area where “Shadowrun” does shine is in the use of magic. There are a wide range of abilities and not only are they cool to pull off, they look great. Resurrect allows you to revive dead teammates (as long as their body hasn’t been vaporized). Tree of Life is just what it sounds like, a tree that replenishes health. Strangle is a spell that shoots out magical crystals that are great to block enemies. Gust allows you to force push enemies and grenades out of your way. Smoke temporarily turns you into a ghost so you don’t take damage. Teleport allows you to do a great Nightcrawler impression and Summon gives you the ability to create a monster that fights to the death for you.
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These powers are fantastic to use and almost saves the game, almost. But besides the issues already mentioned, “Shadowrun” has too many other flaws (long load times, frequent lag, expensive for a multi-player only title, no way to differentiate between PC and 360 gamers for any kind of rub it in factor) for this to be a must-own game. I'm excited as anyone to see PC and console gamers go at it, but this just isn't the title for it.
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Shadowrun

Cost: $49.99 - $59.99
Players: One (16 Online)
Formats: Xbox 360, PC (w/ Windows Vista)
Category: First Person Shooter (FPS)
Rating: Mature (17+)
You take the good: Cool magic powers, Solid graphics
You take the bad: Not much variety, laggy, long load times, pricey for online only

And then you have – The Grade: C

Paradise Found

Beauty has a name and her name is...Cyberball - Long ago 80's rock band Survivor once sang, the search is over, and it is, sort of. I have found my Excalibur, my Fountain of Youth and my Holy Grail, sort of. I have found "Cyberball", sort of. After receiving an email and a message on Xbox Live Arcade from two different gamers reminding me to fight the good fight and keep bugging game developers for the release of the greatest robots-playing-football video game of all time, my determination was renewed. I emailed my contact at Atari, the publisher of "Cyberball", demanding a response. I then went to the new release board to find out when the expected release date was and found to no surprise those dreaded letters, TBA. Then I noticed something I hadn't before. Instead of seeing Atari as the publisher, I saw the company creating the XLA version of "Cyberball" was Midway. I have no idea why this was but I didn't care, my faith was restored! I was going to be meeting with Midway reps at E3. I figured I'd just hold one of them hostage until they released "Cyberball" on Arcade and the world would rejoice!
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Then, on a whim, I took a peek at the Midway website, figuring I might be able to find some info on the 360 Arcade release. I saw nothing. I did see the Classic Game Web Arcade at the bottom and decided to look around. There was "Joust" and "Root Beer Tapper" (already on XLA) and a few other games but no "Cyberball". Then I scrolled down and saw that Midway had released three volumes of classic arcade titles available on the Gamecube, PS2 and Xbox. What would it hurt to take a look? I checked out Volume 1 and found "Defender", "Rampage", "Joust" and a few others. I looked at Volume 3 and found "Super Off Road" (another arcade classic and must own) and "Hydro Thunder". Finally, I opened up Volume 2 and after scanning through "Mortal Kombat II and 3" and "Primal Rage" found what my eyes had longed to see - "CYBERBALL 2072"!!! Shazam!!! At long last it would be mine! Oh, yes...it would be mine. This game was released in October of 2004?!? How did I miss this!?!?
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I immediately called my buddy Fritz at GameCrazy and they were out. I called GameStop and they had 2! I had them hold it and for $12 I made my best gaming purchase of the year. Sure its not on Xbox Live Arcade and I won't be getting any Achievement Points (well, not until it comes out on XLA) or playing against other gamers online but at least now I have a reason to turn on my PS3. And, as my buddy Dieter used to say, I'm as happy as a little girl. These are the days when gaming almost brings a tear to my eye, sort of.
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Other stuff - Coming up Wednesday, a review of "Shadowrun" for the Xbox 360 and PC gamers with Windows Vista...coming up Friday, a look at gametap.com, the Xbox Live Arcade for PC gamers...the latest coloradojoe podcast is available on iTunes and on this website. If you'd like to contribute to a podcast mailbag, send your questions or comments to coloradojoemail@yahoo.com.
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terry.terrones@gazette.com

The times they are a changin'

"Podcasting?" said my mother, "What the heck is that?" - Two years ago I had no clue what an MP3 player was. I knew it had something to do with digital music (something else that confused me) but I didn't know how it worked. I was like a caveman being given a digital watch who didn't know whether to put it on my ankle or eat it. Keep in mind I'm a guy who's dad had an 8-track player in his Chevy Nova and still has a small record collection. In the last two years I've bought a laptop, an iPod Nano (for me but later traded in), iPod Shuffle (for my daughter) a video iPod and now have my own podcast. Once I get hooked on something, I'm in all the way.

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The new coloradojoe podcast is available on iTunes and here on this blog to the right. Its a little raw right now (its kind of obious I'm a writer and not a radio DJ) as my brother and I tinker with the format and length but I have big plans for it. Interviews will be a big part of the podcast. I plan on having some locals I know (the Gazette's Andy Wineke and Warren Epstein, KCMN DJ Tron Simpson, KKTV weatherman Ty Shesky), some gaming industry insiders (Treyarch's Jeff Zaring, OXM's Fran Reyes, Andy Shatz of TKO, GameDaily's Eli Shayotovich among others) and maybe even a few sports figures. Of course I haven't actually gotten around to asking any of these people yet (except Warren) but I think I can talk them into it. I also plan on posting any interviews I manage to strong arm people into at E3 on the coloradojoe podcast as well. And while this site is a gaming site, my brother and I plan on tackling not just gaming but movies, television, music and pop culture.

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There should be some good stuff on the podcasts so please be patient as we work out the kinks, I think it'll be worth your time.

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Misc. stuff - Some site regulars might also have noticed that there has been another addition to the site, some of my favorite youtube gaming clips. I'll be changing these periodically...A few new songs for "Guitar Hero III" coming out in the fall have been announced. Check 'em out - Paint It Black (by The Rolling Stones), Cherub Rock (by Smashing Pumpkins), Sabotage (by Beastie Boys), The Metal (by Tenacious D), My Name is Jonas (by Weezer), Knights of Cydonia (by Muse), Rock And Roll All Nite (as made famous by Kiss), School's Out (as made famous by Alice Cooper), Slow Ride (as made famous by Fog Hat), Cult of Personality (by Living Colour), Barracuda (as made famous by Heart)

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terry.terrones@gazette.com