Monday, August 28, 2006

Madden Etiquette

We've all been there before. You're playing an enjoyable game of Madden, either online or with a buddy, when someone crosses the line and does something stupid. People get upset, tempers flare and suddenly everyone is more uncomfortable than Peyton Manning during a playoff game.

Why does this happen? Because no one has set up the ground rules for playing Madden against a living opponent. Like all great backs, I see the hole and cut to it. Its time to stop all the bickering and whining and discuss proper video game etiquette.

Terry's Top 5 Madden Etiquette Rules

1. Trash Talking is Required - What would football be without trash talking? Tennis! That's what! Now I'm not talking about complaining about getting screwed over on a play or moaning about a dropped pass, I'm talking about telling your opponent what you're about to do, then doing it. I'm talking about picking off the ball then high stepping it into the end zone as you point at your friend and laugh. Yo Mama jokes are also okay to be used here.

2. Never punt - Punting is for wimps! Don't give me your its-a-game-of-field-position argument either. If you can't get 10 yards in virtual football, you better go back to practice right after the game is over and learn more than 4 plays.

3. Never pick an All-Pro team - Nothing shows that you're a weak player more than picking the AFC or NFC Pro Bowl squad. All-decade and all-time teams (Best Denver Broncos teams, etc.) are also disallowed. Just pick your favorite team and roll with it.

4. No created players - This should be a no-brainer but I can't tell you how many times guys have tried to pass themselves off as members of their favorite teams. My 5'5", 130lb son, despite his fondest wishes, is not a 6'4" 225lb QB with 99's across the board, yet he tries to get away with it all the time. Save your created player for your Franchise or Hall of Fame career.

5. No quitting. Ever! - Nothing is more frustrating (especially online) than when you're giving your opponent a serious beat down and they just up and quit. Just like there is no crying in baseball, there's no quitting in football. If you're getting thumped, play it out, try your best and take your lumps like a man. Don't try the old "its late and I got work tomorrow" excuse either. We all know how long Madden games can take. Suck it up and start throwing some Hail Mary's to get back into the game.

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