When the console video game boom took off in the early 90's, Hollywood looked to cash in by turning gamers favorite titles into movies. The early results were terrifying and some films were so bad that the concept of the video game movie almost went the way of Britney Spears career - extinct. Here are the Top 5 biggest offenders. Note that cartoons and anime are excluded from the list. This is just for live action duds.
1. Street Fighter (1994) - Starring: Jean Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue.
Plot: After months of fighting, a multinational military force called the Allied Nations has managed to enter the city of Shadaloo. The AN is fighting against the armed forces of drug-lord turned General M. Bison (Julia), who has recently captured a couple of dozen AN workers.
Bison makes his demands in a live two-way TV broadcast with William F. Guile (Van Damme), the commander of the AN forces. If he is not paid $S20 billion in three days he will kill the hostages.
Why it sucks: Four words - Jean Claude Van Damme. Aside from Bloodsport the "Muscles from Brussels" never made a good flick (okay, there are a couple of hot scenes in "Double Impact" but the rest of his films stink). Then we have the wasted talents of actor Raul Julia and singer Kylie Minogue. After this stinker Kylie disappeared for a few years before making a comeback. Good thinking, let people forget you were in this disaster.
2. Super Mario Bros. (1993) - Starring: Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo and Dennis Hopper.
Plot: Spike and Iggy kidnap Daisy while the Marios were fixing the pipes. Luigi accidentally grabs Daisy's magical necklace. They plunge into a rock face and tumble down a wide canyon. They end up on the other side and find a place that's not Brooklyn.
Why it sucks: The first movie ever to be based on a video game had nothing to do with gaming and had a lot of facts from the game wrong. The dialogue was cheesy and the costumes on Mario and Luigi looked ridiculous. Throw in an over the top performance by Dennis "I just got out of rehab and I'll take any work I can get" Hopper and you have one crummy movie. Sure my Mom made me take my little brother (who was 10 at the time) to see it but that doesn't mean I had to like it.
3. House of the Dead (2003) - Starring: Nobody you've ever heard of.
Plot: Set on an island off the coast of Seattle, a party attracts a group of college students and a Coast Guard officer. Their party is interrupted by zombies and monsters that attack them on the ground, from the air, and in the sea, ruled by an evil entity in the House of the Dead.
Why it sucks: Let me introduce you to Uwe Boll, a movie director well known in gaming circles for two things - directing movies based on video games and sucking at it. He frequently changes the movie so much that it has absolutely nothing to do with the game its based on. His flicks are almost always box office failures.
4. Wing Commander (1999) - Starring: Freddie Prinze Jr., Matthew Lillard
Plot: The movie follows the story of Christopher Blair (Prinze), a young pilot assigned to the TCS Tiger's Claw. He and the crew are given the mission to buy time for the Confederation's fleet to set up a defensive line to protect Earth and to help stop the invading Kilrathi armada.
Why it sucked: The dynamic duo of Freddie Prinze Jr. and Matthew Lillard. This actually had the makings of a pretty good B-movie sci-fi flick except for these two lunkheads. These guys should never be allowed to make a movie together. Need further evidence? Go rent Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleased and Summer Catch.
5. Bloodrayne (2006) - Starring: Kristanna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingsley
Plot: A huntress named Rayne (Loken), who is an unholy breed of human and vampire called a Dhampir is trained by a secret agency called the Brimstone Society which hunts down and eliminates supernatural threats around the globe, Rayne is confronted by the deadliest of all creatures, the powerful and evil Kagan, King of the Vampires (Kingsley).
Why it sucked: Did you not read the plot? Does this not sound insane to you? Are you not shocked that Sir Ben Kingsley would star in a flick like this but pass on Christopher Moltisanti's gangster movie (Sopranos reference). Oh yeah, this was also a Uwe Boll flick.