I wish I could quit you!

Open mouth, insert foot...the PS3 and I kiss and make up, sort of
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Hey Baby,

How ya doin'? What's new? How was work today? What's that? You didn't really do much today except sit around while I was playing Spiderwick for a review on the 360? Sorry about that. I know I've been pretty busy since we got back together but I just wanted to check in with you. I know our reunion has been kind of rocky.
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I know what you're thinking. You think you should never have let me back into your life but the money I was waving at you was too tempting. You're thinking I just came back because I'm covering casual games for GamePro and I'm just using you for reviews. You're thinking that I'm an idiot for ever getting rid of you for a stupid HD-DVD player that is now as valuable as a Wang Chung Greatest Hits CD. You're thinking that right after I bought you like a mail order Russian bride that things were great because we were playing PixelJunk Monsters and Uncharted Drakes Fortune together but now all you do is watch me search in desperation for a good game on the PlayStation Network or sit in my ass groove and watch Blu-ray movies. You're still bitter and hurting and because of my inconsistent attention span so getting back together with me has been more awkward than the Coach Dale/Myra Fleener kiss in Hoosiers.
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I feel your pain and I can admit when I made a mistake. I never should have traded you in, mostly because it cost me money buying two of you, but also because I didn't appreciate you. I underestimated your value as a gaming machine and as a next-gen DVD player. So far though, I mostly underestimated you as a next-gen DVD player. That being said, I do think your future as a game console is looking a lot brighter then when I let you go and I should have recognized that. No, your future isn't as bright as my beloved Xbox 360 but you have Gran Turismo going for you, you have Home coming out this spring and you have Metal Gear 4 coming out. Those are things that I can look forward to, they give me hope that we have a future.
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What's that? You want us to be as tight as the 360 and I are?!? Whoa, whoa...lets not get carried away! Back off baby, you're pressing me! You got a ways to go before you can measure up to her. I won't be leaving my 360 any time soon. You'll need a better online service, you'll need a better downloadable game library (you can start off by getting me Pa Rappa the Rappa...and a ham and cheese sandwich), you need some console exclusives that can hold my attention longer than a week, and you'll need to develop something that's equal to Achievement Points, and that's just for starters. You'll also need something that makes you unique. Right now you have Blu-ray but you'll need more than that.
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I'm sure that's painful to hear but we're back together, right? Sure I might be putting the 360 on a pedestal but right now you're a hoodrat I'm hanging with for fun and that'll have to be it until you bring your A game. And yes I've watched 40-Year-Old-Virgin about 100 times but so what!?! These are the ABC's of me baby, that's how I roll! Just enjoy the ride while it lasts because if you give me an attitude or I see any signs of weakness I'll kick you to the curb!
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Hey! Stay calm! Everything's alright! I'm sorry to get harsh with you, that wasn't my intent. I just wanted to be honest with you and let you know where you stand. Things are starting to get straightened out now and you'll be getting more of my attention from here on out, so just relax. Wipe your tears now, go on, here's a tissue. Now go make me a ham and cheese sandwich.
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coloradojoemail@yahoo.com